April 7, 2011
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Guilt
This past week, I had to revisit an old topic. I had a good friend in college who ended his life a few years ago. When I have thought of him since, my heart would drop like it was falling down an elevator shaft, and I want to say, "Why did you have to leave us? Why didn't you stick around longer to see how much you were loved by everyone?" And I have felt guilt. I could've should've done more to make it apparent that there were people in this world who cared for him.
And the thing is that I am guilty. Of selfishness and disobedience. He came to us and shared with us things that were troubling him. We meant to spend more time with him. But we didn't.
How do you free yourself of condemnation when your transgression has an irrevocable impact on another's life? In most situations, I've been able to rectify the situation somehow -- apologize and make amends. But in this case, I cannot.
How does 1 John 1:9 apply to me? In this world, when one person does something horrible to another person, the victim naturally wants to think of the worse form of punishment and stick it to them. Similarly, if you are the one who wronged someone else, you want to punish yourself by depriving yourself of all good things. The sad truth is that as much as you try to punish yourself or someone else, it never seems enough. The reason is that the damage has been done. If you've run over someone's dog or cheated on a loved one, you can't resurrect their dog or blot out the fact that you cheated. That's why it must be "a life for a life". And it can't be just any life. No, the substitution of a messed-up, corrupt life who has damaged others is not good enough to make amends. Because how would another sinner actually be able blot out the damage that's been done? It doesn't undo what's been done. It must, must be the perfect, innocent life of the eternal God. He alone will make it enough.
Jesus' sacrifice is sufficient to cover this trespass and blot out the transgression. Because he never wronged anyone and he took on my punishment for this specific wrong, an exchange has taken place. His perfect record for my blemished record. I get his righteousness.
It doesn't seem fair! But Jesus paid it all. He made the payment with the worse form of punishment. And it is good enough.
Sunday's sermon at Coast was about freedom from condemnation. In Christ, we are free from condemnation and that freedom is available now. God is holding back the waters at the Red Sea so that I can walk into that freedom. I just need to put one foot in front of the other and walk through. And. receive. that. freedom.
