I had a dream before I woke up this morning.  In the dream, God ushered my sister and me to a place, and He said, "I have a vision for you."  Then we looked in front of us and saw an enormous sun coming up -- rising -- over the horizon. 

It was clear to me then as it is clear to me now that the message is that a new day is dawning, a new season is coming -- something new and different.   

Coincidentally(?), yesterday I was studying Numbers 12, and this was one of the verses I had been meditating on,  "When there are prophets of the Lord among you, I reveal myself to them in visions, I speak to them in dreams."  I wonder what it all means - really?  Time will tell.

Running off the Bank

I realized the other night while praying with Pam that my biggest fear is to end up living a life of mediocrity.  I am running scared of that possibility.  I never want to settle for the ordinary.  My secret dreams of living the abundant life which Jesus promises pursue me day and night.

What is your greatest, most “boundless” secret dream?  Do you have secret dreams?  Do they soar on wings… or are they landlocked?   I guess I ask because my secret dreams run off the bank into the stream, gushing down the waterfall, pouring out into the bay, pursuing and ultimately falling over the edge of the world…  There are no boundaries and no end and no limit.  This isn’t the Truman Show.  The ocean and the sky don’t meet and smack into a wall at the edge of the dome.  My mind and eyes and heart search God’s heart, waiting and anticipating to do great things that have no creative boundaries.

I know you saw my secret dreams list yesterday and thought I was absolutely nuts.  Mary Ann, you simply can’t do all those things.  Well, I admit, it’s not that I really think I’m going to do all those things in my lifetime, perse.  It’s the essence of the matter.  I believe that God has a heart for all the world and wants to send me into all the world.  He’s not limited to middle class America – or even an industrial city in China (c’mon, how many ABCs only think about going to China as their missionary enterprise?).  Whatever happened to being open to anything in the world?  We need to get out of the box and take God out of the box.  I believe God gives us hearts to dream and wings to fly.  And I defy anyone to tell me that it’s just not possible.  Or that I’m too idealistic.  God’s promises are far too vast for us to limit ourselves to practicality.  I refuse to let the skeptics out there crush my dreams.  I will not live a life of mediocrity.  And I won’t let you convince me that the life of mediocrity is the only realistic life there is.  If my dreams really be castles in the air, I believe the Lord of Heaven will build a foundation underneath it to hold it up…

What about you?  Are you willing to do anything and go anywhere for Jesus?  I think that’s the best place to be in.  Take ahold of His promises.  Get out of the box.  Don't stick to the default mentality.   Don't plug along in life following "the way it's supposed to be."  If you could do anything in the world, what would you do?  Dream great dreams.  Anything is possible.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

what to do with secret dreams?  i guess whisper them out loud and pray that it would be God's will somehow and some way.  and then recognize that if it's not, have a smile spread across my face anyway because of knowing that the only reason why it's not is because God has better dreams.

secret dreams... to go to China this summer, do this internship with PESI for 1 or 2 years and then go to Vietnam for a short term trip, and then join Wycliffe and help with a Bible translation for ten years (or as long as it takes), and then help Pam with Hope Harvest for awhile, and then go around the world and shepherd other missionaries (pray for them, counsel them, encourage them with Scripture - this includes visiting Sam and all my other missionary friends) for a few years, and then come back to the States and get my teaching credential and teach high school English for a few years, meanwhile making plans to open that bookstore I had always wanted to open - and when all is set, I'll read books all day in my shop, encourage others to read... and finally get to writing my own!  And when at last God takes me Home, I will be fully satisfied because I have spent my life on Him and will leave behind spiritual children who are missionaries all over the world... 

All of which may be too unrealistic, but alas, that is why they are called secret dreams!

Secret dreams - to me - are like blazing pink sunsets - precious, captivating, inspiring...and prone to vanish out of sight in the blink of an eye as if it never made an appearance.  I must lay my secret dreams on the altar and allow God to form the picture of my life.  These secret dreams will quickly slip out of sight.  But if they are not from Him... well, it doesn't matter anyway.

But, Lord, please let me be a missionary - and let it not be anything conventional.  Lord, you have my heart and I will search for yours.  Let me be to you a sacrifice.

Do you have secret dreams?