Case in Point #1

I've known my best friend since our junior year in high school.  We have never lived in the same city.  Despite all that, we have always managed to be in sync with each other.  One of the things we always dreamed of was how cool it would be if we could actually live together.  For some reason, it seemed *impossible*.  But, despite that, we decided to pray for it anyway.  And it happened!  God gave us a few months of together-living before she went off to be equipped for Literacy work with Wycliffe. 

Case in Point #2
My sister used to ask me the hardest questions about Christianity.  She'd ask me what I thought about homosexuality, she'd ask me what God said about monogamy and why, she'd ask about the accuracy of the Bible and where it came from, and all these other really hard questions.  I remember walking away from these conversations feeling defeated.  Boy, my answers felt so inadequate.  She lived life according to her own way, rather than God's way. She was depressed and unhappy, and I knew it.  She was as far from God as I thought was possible.  And I prayed as often as I could, as fervently as I could, that God would heal her brokenness.  But I also prayed, "Lord, honestly, I don't feel like you could do this, even though I cognitively know you can.  Please take my unbelief and slam it in my face.  Prove me wrong.  This is the biggest miracle I can think of right now - if you cause my sister's heart to be fully devoted to you."  And He did it.  To my utter shock and surprise, He did it.  Her life is *totally* different now.

Case in Point #3
When my spiritual mentor Larry suggested that S and I move to San Diego so that we could be in the same place to develop our relationship, be near my family and get invested in by Nav staff, I thought it was such a perfect idea - but I didn't think S would go for it at all.  After all, he'd have to leave his family/home where it was most comfortable for him, move halfway across the nation to get there, and be on *my* turf.  Talk about a risk.  I thought there'd be no way in the world (especially because we hadn't officially started our courtship at the time and had only known each other by long distance correspondence)... but I prayed anyway, "Lord, I know this is impossible, but wouldn't it be just perfect?  It seems perfect to me.  Would you make it happen?"  And then I whispered, "Would you really give me *all* the desires of my heart?"  When I mentioned to S what Larry had suggested, his immediate response was, "That's a great idea!"  I was totally floored. 

God is so good.  And all of this is just more evidence that I can keep asking Him for things beyond my wildest dreams. 

There are enough verses in the Bible which tell me that I really can aim high and pray for anything.  ANYthing at all.  What was the reason why the man in Luke 11:8 gave his friend bread?  It was not because they were friends, it was because of his boldness.  Matthew 8:2 is an example to me of boldness.  The man with leprosy knelt down before Jesus and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."  He didn't say, "If you can..."  He already KNEW Jesus could.  The question was, Is He willing?  This is boldness.  What was Jesus' response? "I am willing."  Don't you know Jesus is always willing?

When I pray for things, I don't just ask for "just enough".  I ask for rich abundance.  Why?  Because I know my Father delights to give me *great* gifts. 

So I'm looking for a job, and I'm asking God for a certain amount a /month (which if I got this would be the highest salary I have ever had in my life).  I am looking for a place to stay, I'm asking God to let me live at Casa Blanca with a friend who has the same views about life and living.  Why?  So that I can do the work I believe He's called me to at this time.  Do I think He'll give it to me?  Maybe, maybe not.  I half laugh because I know what I'm asking for is so 'ridiculous' or not possible at this point.  But...hey, He's given me exactly what I wanted before.  So why not ask now?  Why aim low when we can aim high?

What's the worse that can happen when we ask God for anything?  He says no.  That's it.  That's the worse.  And He only says no because He has something better. 

So if God says no, then I say, Ok, God, what do you want me to want instead?  Tell me, so I can want it too, and then give it to me. 

I believe that God has an ultimate plan for us.  He will mold our hearts to match with His plan if we continue to be honest with Him about our heart's desires, daring to ask for anything and be open to anything.  In that way, we will always get what we want.  Seriously.  So *go ahead* and pray for anything.  I dare you.

Whispered Prayers

Oh, Papa, this is not the world I dreamed up... but what You've given me is so much better.

I've laid all my plans and dreams on the altar and set fire to it, but now I don't remember what they were because THIS is so much better!  The offering up really meant empty hands that You could fill.

You treat me with so much love it's like I'm Your only child!

Papa, what other way can I respond but to look up at You with my adoring eyes?  You are my Papa, my Abba Father, my Daddy, and I love You.

Posting my sins (previous entry) reminded me of a poem I wrote last year.  Here it is:

Simple Enough
Mary Ann Nguyen
Feb 21, 2003

Lord, I pray that you would take me
from where I am to where you want me to be.
Cleanse me, wash me, set my guilty heart free.

Delete my deleterious iniquity.
Crush my critical spirit.
Steal away my selfishness.
Rob me of my rebelliousness.
Fight off my fears.
Nail my need for comfort

on the Cross, on the Cross,
where Victory reigns,
where Freedom dances,
where Truth triumphs,
where Life laughs in giddy overflow.

Lord, I pray that you would take me
from where I am to where you want me to be.
Cleanse me, wash me, set my guilty heart free.

Mary Ann Nguyen
January 5, 2000

In this life, Lord, I ask for
no laziness or listless, lackadaisical living,
no madness made by the muck of mediocrity
or slowness, sloth or slumbering.
Prompt me, prod me, probe me.
Encourage, enliven and enlighten.
Don't leave me untouched, unchanged,
unacceptable or unkempt.
Guard me, goad me, guide me in your path.
May my eyes receive what is revelatory and righteous,
rejecting what you revile as revolting.
that I would not fly in a fury of frantic frenzy
by my own accord.
Hold this helpless child near your heart
that I may hear and hearken to your Holy Hope
and walk without want or weariness in your wondrous way.

In sweet certain surrender,
and Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.