They say, "a penny for your thoughts."  -- but how about a thought about a penny?

This weekend I had a dream about a penny.  In the dream, I was looking through some old stuff, and I kept finding all these old pennies.  After much searching, I found an old early 1900s Indian-head penny.  I was ridiculously delighted by this find.  Sadly, it was only a dream.  I know it's of little-known fact, but I'm a collector of old pennies.  (Although whether you can call having 3 pennies a "collection", I guess that's up to debate.)  My oldest penny is a 1945 Wheat Penny.  It has Lincoln on the front and the words "one cent" on the back.  I've been in search of an Indian Head Cent for years now but still haven't come across it. 

But all this reminded me of a poem I had written many years ago.  First in 9th grade and then revised in 1995.  Here it is:

My Everlasting Penny
Mary Ann Nguyen
May 12, 1995

I own a little something
too tiny for you to know;
I own a little penny
which's value seems quite low.

And you may own a dollar
that you know not what it's for
but you found it in your pocket
and its value is lots more.

Well, my fortune, my dear penny
is so small and round and faded;
it has memories on its surface
and is as tough as the day they made it.

While your dollar is plain paper,
straight and crisp and new.
You can hold and bend and fold it
but oops!  it may rip in two!

So your bigger, better dollar
that's worth "so much more"
is less than my everlasting penny
and just ended on the floor!

[Edit 2008:  I now have an Indian Head Cent from 1898!!  I got it sometime after the writing of this xanga entry.]

My reflections of this morning...

I'm a virgin
and I'm unwed.
No one else has shared my bed.

I've been spared
of the kind of pain
of a man who "loves" me in a way that's feigned.

No regrets
no guilt or shame.
My innocence is still the same.

I've saved myself
for a commitment "for life"
to the man who takes me as his wife.

I'll be a gift
with a wedding ring
to the one who has offered his everything.

What freedom then
and reason to rejoice
that I'm giving myself to God's own choice.

No baggage there,
just ecstasy,
as (for the first time) I give all of me.

I'm a virgin
and I'm not "late."
I'm simply choosing just to wait.

Mary Ann Nguyen

Posting my sins (previous entry) reminded me of a poem I wrote last year.  Here it is:

Simple Enough
Mary Ann Nguyen
Feb 21, 2003

Lord, I pray that you would take me
from where I am to where you want me to be.
Cleanse me, wash me, set my guilty heart free.

Delete my deleterious iniquity.
Crush my critical spirit.
Steal away my selfishness.
Rob me of my rebelliousness.
Fight off my fears.
Nail my need for comfort

on the Cross, on the Cross,
where Victory reigns,
where Freedom dances,
where Truth triumphs,
where Life laughs in giddy overflow.

Lord, I pray that you would take me
from where I am to where you want me to be.
Cleanse me, wash me, set my guilty heart free.

I just wrote this one, especially dedicated to you.
                                                                           -- Mary Ann Nguyen

There is a time to mourn and a time to dance.  Ecc 3:4

He's turned my mourning
    into dancing again
He's lifted my sorrow
    with His comforting hand.
Even a fool like me will choose to dance
    though I don't know how
Would you care to dance with me
    and could we do it now?
Can we take off in a run
    and twirl on the street
Can we waltz and skip and laugh
    and bow to all we meet?
Let's not keep it to ourselves
    but invite everyone along
Let's have crowds and crowds
    dancing and singing a new song
For He has made me glad
    He has made me glad
I will rejoice
    for there's no reason to be sad!
So would you dance
    come dance with me
throw off those burdens
    and join my glee
Dance with me
    won't you have a dance?
The Lord, the King
    gave us a second chance!
So let us dance
    let us skip
Let us bow
    let us worship
For He is King -
    Jesus is King,
Our Lord, the Savior.
    So let's dance and sing.

Mary Ann Nguyen
January 5, 2000

In this life, Lord, I ask for
no laziness or listless, lackadaisical living,
no madness made by the muck of mediocrity
or slowness, sloth or slumbering.
Prompt me, prod me, probe me.
Encourage, enliven and enlighten.
Don't leave me untouched, unchanged,
unacceptable or unkempt.
Guard me, goad me, guide me in your path.
May my eyes receive what is revelatory and righteous,
rejecting what you revile as revolting.
that I would not fly in a fury of frantic frenzy
by my own accord.
Hold this helpless child near your heart
that I may hear and hearken to your Holy Hope
and walk without want or weariness in your wondrous way.

In sweet certain surrender,
and Jesus' name I pray,
Amen.

Written by Mary Ann Nguyen

May 10, 1998

Copied from the original – inside the margins of my Psyc 104 book

 

These margins were left

for verses written to You…

for praises in profusion,

adoration in abundance,

complete awe in overflow…

 

Oh, Lord, You are my Love Song,

the cheerful, harmonious melody

that is always on my heart,

the most eloquent elucidation

of words and phrases and notes

stringed together – masterfully –

like a stunning symphony

that does not know how to end.

It just keeps playing on –

soothing sounds that

hum and hem in Holy

Hope that never disappoints.

 

Oh, Lord, teach me how to sing

in key with You,

in rhythm and beat,

the same

heartbeat – just like Yours

that I may sing of Your love forever –

to all eternity –

for all the world to see

that You are my Holy Delight,

the Light,

the Everything.

My “only” Everything.