October 30, 2008
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When you hold anger
Yesterday, we put the dog we’ve been pet-sitting in our kitchen with the baby gate up while we were at a Home Group. When we got back, the dog greeted us at the door!! It had broken free and conveyed its anger and spite toward us by leaving its “mark” all over our house. The house reeked of stinky waste! I was very mad at the dog. I didn’t look at it, touch it or speak to it for the rest of the night. And before we went to sleep, I said to Sam, “It’s not a person, I don’t have to forgive it!”
But I was wrong about that. Sometimes forgiveness is more for ourselves than for the one who has wronged us. I realize that as I’ve continued to hold the anger in my heart all day today, I haven’t had room for anything else in my heart. And I am learning that sometimes God requires me to forgive even when the trespasser is not repentant and has not asked for forgiveness. I think that’s the most difficult thing for me. I want the “other” to be sorry and feel really bad — but in this case (as in so many cases in life), that’s just not gonna happen. I can’t reprimand it, reason with it, or ever hear words of repentance from it. The only thing I can do is forgive the dog and move on. God’s great act for forgiving me should be more than enough to help me forgive a silly dog — and anyone else who ever wrongs me.
Comments (3)
This is so true! I agree that it is one of the hardest things in life for me to do. (I wonder if it’s harder for us because we are so passionate about justice?)
I used to confuse forgiveness with saying “it’s okay”. In reality, sometimes it’s NOT “okay”, but in choosing to forgive, we are freed from a prison of bitterness and anger.
When you put it in terms of God’s great mercy on us, forgiving sounds easy!
i would always pet my cat when scolding her.
(she sat and listened every time. even purred.) there is relief that comes w/ forgiveness, tho.
@Corrie - We’ve talked about this before, but thanks for reminding me… it’s such a critical difference: “not ok” vs. “i forgive you”. and yes, forgiveness does free us from a PRISON of bitterness. it IS a prison, isn’t it?