August 25, 2006

• wedding gifts

  On our wedding night, we exchanged wedding gifts to each other.  Our criteria was 1. something practical, 2. something sentimental, and 3. something keepsake-worthy.  Without having disclosed anything to each other prior to our wedding night, we actually ended up giving the same sort of “sentimental” gift.

  It was a few weeks before the wedding when I made a mad search through all my old journals.  I was looking for an old letter that I had written many, many years ago to my “future husband.”  It was then, in 1997, that I had for the first time in my life really understood what it meant to put my life into the hands of the sovereignty of God.  At that point, I had only recently entered the Kingdom of God and only recently decided that I needed to give God my all or nothing at all.  There was no room for lukewarm, wishy-washy, sitting on the fence religion.  The idea of ‘relationship’ and ‘romance’ was a sensitive area for me.  In the world, I had learned only one thing — flirt like mad, dress to impress (i.e. seduce & attract), be bold and initiate because men like aggressive women, and you will get the guy.  But God was telling me something different.  Don’t flirt, don’t seduce, don’t live to please men, don’t manipulate.  Pursue His Kingdom and He will do the matchmaking.  I was aghast.  Are you kidding me?  You expect me to do nothing?  But don’t I need to flirt a little and show that I am interested?  God said no and asked me if I really trusted and believed in His sovereignty and His ability to take care of me.  The answer of course was yes.

  So I wrote a letter.  To my future husband — “I have fully committed myself to putting my desire of marriage (for you!) on the altar of God’s will.  I will wait for a “man of God” who is from God.  The act of surrendering myself like this – to no longer take the initiative – is so scary….but God has fully convinced me that there are godly men out there who will seek God’s will and God’s lead.  And I guess that must be you!  I am now willing to be ever-so patient to wait for you and our life-long gentle happiness.”

  I can’t tell you how many times I took that letter out and reread it and how many times that letter diverted me from foolishness and directed me toward more godly choices.  It was a promise I made and a promise I was able to keep — and it was so wonderful that on our wedding night, I was at last able to give it to the one I had written to ages ago — the “future” of the past reached into the present.  He was the one I was waiting for all these years!!  I can’t tell you how amazing and how special it was to be able to give my new husband that letter.

  On our wedding night, Sam handed me a special box.  When I opened it, I found a small scroll with a gold band around it.  When I unraveled the scroll, I found the words “True Love Waits” at the top with a cute signature of Sam’s from ages past at the bottom.  1994, it said.  1994.  He had made a promise to wait for me years and years ago, long before he even knew me, and he had kept it.  He waited and saved and was now choosing to give himself to me.  The enormity of his promise and its ultimate fulfillment hit me all at once.  He didn’t give himself to anybody else.  He waited just for me.  Just for me.  Just for me.  Words cannot describe how incredible a gift that was to me… 

  Ineffable.  Completely indescribable.  And yet, I wrote this entry because I wanted to share the reality of how awesome (and worth it) it is to save yourself for that one special person that you will commit to for the rest of your life… 

  • 3:58 pm
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