March 23, 2006

• Inviting Jesus

  Jesus was there in my past as much as He is in my present and in my future.

  I wonder sometimes if we hold onto good memories so tightly because we’re afraid that if we don’t, then we’ll lose them altogether.  And the bad memories – I wonder if we re-visit them in our minds — or, more aptly, that they come back to revisit us in a haunting kind of way — because we’re still somehow afraid that they will rise to the surface for all the world to see.  Whether it’s good memories or bad ones, I realized again this morning that sometimes, all I have to do is invite Jesus into those memories, and the scene changes. 

  Sometimes that just means going back to those memories in my mind and acknowledging that Jesus was there.  “Jesus, you were there.  You were there when I walked the streets of Beijing.  You were there in the classroom with me…”

  “Jesus, you were there when I sat and laughed and prayed with Julie the last time.  When she told me I absolutely must write and use my creativity.  You were there when I hugged her goodbye one last time.”

  His being there in the good memories makes me know that I don’t have to hold on so tight.  He’s holding on to the memories for me.  I won’t lose them.

  And for the bad memories…I realize that just because I didn’t know God at certain parts in my life and didn’t recognize that He was there doesn’t mean that He wasn’t.  He didn’t choose me in spite of my sins or despite my sins… it was because of my sins that He chose me.  He knew I was running down a path that would lead to destruction, and that’s why He rescued me.  Often, I think shamefully about my past and live as if I’m still trying to hide it from Him.  But why am I hiding?  He knows all about it.  He was there with me.  What does it mean that Jesus was there?  It means that I don’t have to hide anymore.  So instead of pretending, I need to invite Him to be there with me.  I need to re-think my past with Jesus there too — knowing that He was there and knowing that sometime later in the future, He invited me in, knowing full-well what I had done in the past. 

  “Jesus, you were there.  You were there when I did things that I’ve been ashamed of ever since.  Though I hid them, though I covered up… though I did not know you or recognize you, you were there with me and you saw everything.  I didn’t pull the wool over your eyes.  I didn’t deceive you.  You were there, and you have remembered those moments…those sins…no more.”

  The invitation for Jesus to come, to enter in, to be there, to uncover, to shed light…is so incredibly, absolutely freeing…

  • 7:42 pm
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