I say to the LORD, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing."

The idea is simple:

     With God, I have everything.  Without Him, I have nothing.

     Without God, I may have things, but I have no good thing. 

The idea is simple, but the truth is hard to live out.

I'm starting to have quiet times with my baby in the mornings.  I've been reading psalms to her and teaching her what it means and praying with her.  It occurred to me this morning as I prayed for her what a wonderful thing it will be for her to get to know God and walk with Him from an early age.   That wasn't something that I had... and I just hope that she will have more security, confidence and JOY as she puts her identity in Christ and puts her hope in Him.

This morning, we talked about Psalm 62.

"My soul finds rest in God" - again, reminded that though our bodies ache for physical rest, true rest only comes from God.  If we don't give God our "selves", we will always be restless and tired.  (Great reminder during these exhausting days of caring for her as a newborn.)

"Trust in him at all times...pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge." 
"Do not trust in extortion or put vain hope in stolen goods..."
"Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love."

My baby and I talked about being people of integrity.  We never have to steal, cheat or manipulate because we can trust God.  Because power belongs to Him, He is able to meet and provide for all our needs.  And because of His unfailing love, we know He will meet our needs, specifically.  He loves us.  Pretty awesome.  I pray that we will be a people of integrity who always trust God and do what is right.

Simplicity is freedom.  It brings joy and balance and sets us free from anxiety.  The Christian discipline of simplicity is an inward reality that results in an outward lifestyle.  It begins with living out what Thomas Kelly called "The Divine Center."  God = the Divine Center.  If we seek first the kingdom of God and the righteousness of His kingdom, then everything necessary will come in its proper order.  God desires for us to have adequate material provision, but the Bible is very clear about its stance against the inner spirit of slavery that idolatrous attachments to wealth brings.  Simplicity sets us free to receive the provision of God as a gift that is not ours to keep but as something that can be freely shared with others. 

And this is the key:  "If what we have, we receive as a gift; and if what we have is to be cared for by God; and if what we have is available to others, then we will possess freedom from anxiety.  This is the inward reality of simplicity.  However, if what we have we believe we have gotten; and if what we have, we have believe we must hold onto; and if what we have is not available to others, then we will live in anxiety.  Such persons will never know simplicity regardless of the outward contortions they may put themselves through in order to live 'the simple life.'"   -- Richard Foster, Celebration of Discipline

I've been thinking about the freedom of simplicity a lot this past month, especially as we have been on a long journey of cleaning and organizing our home to make space for the baby.  And the fact is, with babies, there's this sense of overwhelming need to buy a lot of (unnecessary) things.  But as a result of prolonged meditation on this discipline, I truly feel that there's FREEDOM to simplicity.  The less we have, the more free we will be.  Living simply, though, is truly a challenging discipline.  Though I'm truly convinced by this truth, living it out seems to be a whole 'nother matter. 

Foster's key statement that we must see every object as gifts that we have received, as objects that God will take care of and as resources that should be available to others are not attitudes that I grew up with.  This is why it is challenging for me.  But I realized that in order to possess this attitude, one must have a super-glue gripping trust in God.  There must be certainty and unwavering, steadfast confidence and trust that He will provide for you always. That is what is meant by Hebrews 13:5, "Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.'"  This is an exhortation to be free because God promises that He will provide us what we need -- namely, with Himself.

On Friday, Sam and I were praying through Psalm 112, and I felt convicted by verse 5, "Good will come to those who are generous and lend freely..."  Living in this way is not my natural disposition, but my prayer continues to be that God would help me trust in His provision more and more that I might be more and more generous toward others.  There will be sweet freedom there.

When God enters into a space, He gives meaning and purpose to that space.  The result?  That though I had felt so tired and exhausted, His purpose-infusing presence gives me a new kind of energy.  So when I am tired from parenting and don't think I have enough energy to take time out to be with Him, I must remember that it is then that I all-the-more need to do it because He will give me an energy and strength that I'm missing.  There is a kind of rest in His presence that is so different from any physical kind of rest.  It's a different kind of peace.  He really does cause me to "soar on wings like eagles" (Is 40:11).

As the days of pregnancy are quickly coming to a close, I had the brief thought today that I might miss a bit of this season in my life.  Not that I would want repetition of the nausea, vomiting, dietary restrictions, needle-pricking or this reality of a train running over my body -- but I will miss waking up every morning with the constant, continual, everyday hopeful, expectant anticipation of a miracle.  That's what this season has been like - I and everyone else around me are all looking to the future, eagerly expectant of something wonderful that's going to happen.  Even strangers look at me with knowing smiles and sparkles in their eyes as we share in this universal feeling of Hope from the anticipation of new life.  Joy really springs from the Hope of something wonderful to come, doesn't it?

I think this is what (should) make the gospel so enticing.  In the gospel, we are promised an inheritance beyond comparison and guaranteed a future full of good and wonderful things.  We have Hope like no other.  Therefore, we ought to wake up and live every single day with hopeful expectation of a miracle that is about to happen that very day.  As Frank Laubach wrote, wouldn't it be glorious to live a year with the view in mind that you will say at the end of it,"This, this has been the finest year of my life" or to be able to look ahead and say, "The present year can and shall be better!"?  That is the hope he anticipated as he resolved to fill every minute of every day full of God.  Just because this season of my life is coming to an end, it doesn't mean that my life has to slip back into some kind of dreary existence where there's nothing to look forward to.  That would be false living.  With Christ, I really can keep on living with a constant, continual, everyday hopeful, expectant anticipation of a miracle. 

Psalm 63 - The psalmist thirsts for God and longs for Him in a "dry and parched land where there is no water."  Interesting that in a dry land, he doesn't long for water but for God!  "Your love is better than life," says the psalmist.  "I will be fully satisfied as with the richest of foods."  The psalmist knows too well that God exceeds all physical wants and needs.  Here I am, perpetually obsessed with my physical hungers (during this diabetic pregnancy), when the reality is that there's no greater hunger I have but my soul's thirst for God and no greater satisfaction than what He gives -- His love, His power, His glory. 

The verses in this psalm call to mind 1 John 3:1, "How great the love the Father has lavished on us that we should be called children of God!"  How great indeed.  His love is better than life, and He lavishes it on us.  How long has it been since I've felt that His love is better than life itself?  --better than all the physical desires, comforts, things?

With God, I can be fully satisfied as with the riches of foods.  Better than candy, cake, noodles, sushi, and all the wonderful things I have been craving but cannot have.  Those things never satisfy.  Only God fully satisfies.

This verse calls to mind Isaiah 55.  "Listen, listen to me, and eat what is good, and you will delight in the richest of fare" (v. 2).  God will give me the richest of fare - without money and without cost.  I will delight in what He gives, and it will fully satisfy (vv. 1-2). 

In addition, it's always been interesting to me that God's invitation is, "Come, all you who are thirsty."  What is the prerequisite?  Who is to come?  It's simply those who are thirsty, and, in fact, those who have no money.  Most invitations to fancy dinner parties are for those who are wealthy.  But there is no such discrimination here.  If you are thirsty, then you qualify as someone God wants to come to Him.

How easy it is for me to feel physical hunger and thirst - but to tune into the spirit and realize my spiritual hunger and thirst, that truly is another thing!  But when I hunger and as I thirst, why should I buy what does not satisfy when God makes available that which fully satisfies?

I am thirsty.

God, help me be attuned to my spiritual hunger and thirst.  Help me see that my soul is craving you and that there's no greater satisfaction than in you.  Lord, would you come and fill the depths of my soul?  Would you dive down deep to the places that have been untouched, where only you can go?  Will you scoop my depths up into a holy embrace with such tenderness and affection that I'm left without room for want?  breathless & speechless in your arms, overwhelmed & overcome with your ineffable love.  I know that your love is better than anything on earth.  It is greater than anything by far -- which means there's an unnameable, undefinable, indescribable essence to your love - something intangible, something unimaginable, something so divinely unearthly that I can't even picture it now and have forgotten.  Meet me, God, in the deepest depths of my soul where only you can go.

In John 12:2, it says that "Martha served."  One must wonder why Martha was back to 'serving' after having been 'rebuked' by Jesus to be more like Mary by learning instead of being busy with housework (Luke 10).  Jesus' rebuke was radical for that time and culture because women were not given the privilege of learning from Rabbis -- in fact, they were not even believed to have the capacity to think and make good decisions.  But by telling Martha and all the other disciples that Mary had chosen the better thing (learning from Jesus instead of what was believed to be 'women's work'), He was bringing women to their rightful standing -- right beside the men.  Martha was freed to exercise the mind that God had given her, but did she embrace that?  In John 11, it seems like Martha attained a new level of understanding with her profound declaration, "I believe that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."  She certainly was a forerunner in the faith.  So why did she go back to 'serving'?

I recently read some commentary on the book of John, which gave some richer insight.  The Greek verb used to describe Martha's act of 'serving' is diakonein.  Diakonein is the word from which we derive "diaconate" and "deacon".  In "Women of the Gospel of John," Pastor Jones points out that by the time John's gospel was written, this word had become a liturgical term of ministry in Christian communities.  Martha was a symbol of hospitality and service required of those who follow Christ.  Just as clearly, she was recognized as fulfilling the role of minister.  (pp. 43-44)

S.S. Schneider (Written so May Believe: Encountering Jesus in the Fourth Gospel, 107) also attests further that by the time John's Gospel was written at the end of the first century the term diakonos, "servant", had become the title of a recognized ministerial office in some Christian communities (see Phil 1:1, 1 Tim 3:8, 13, Rom 16:1), and waiting on table a function conferred by the laying on of hands (Acts 6:1-6).

So when listening ears of that time and culture heard that Martha "diakonein", they were thinking, "She was ministering; she was pastoring."  They weren't thinking, "She was waitressing."  So it looks like she embraced the radical freedom which Christ gave her to learn, serve and minister, after all!

Scriptural translation and meditation of the week - Psalm 62:1-2

Verse 1
אַךְ אֶל-אֱלֹהִים , דּוּמִיָּה נַפְשִׁי;    מִמֶּנּוּ, יְשׁוּעָתִי.
-Surely, (this is nothing other than the truth that) with God
-my soul is in repose (alternate translations: still/waiting)
       - "repose" means the state of rest, peace, calm, composure (a state only derived from feeling safe/secure)
-my salvation comes from Him.
       - "comes from" indicates "source"... i.e. the source of my salvation is God
       - "salvation" in the OT refers primarily to physical rescue (i.e. from enemies, harm, evil) though with a spiritual nuance (though there is a spiritual connotation to the idea of salvation, the psalmist did not have New Testament definitions of salvation in mind when he wrote this).

So with God, my soul can be calm and at peace -- why? -- because He is my salvation.  He is my rescuer and my deliverer from harm, evils, enemies.

Verse 2
אַךְ-הוּא צוּרִי, וִישׁוּעָתִי;    מִשְׂגַּבִּי, לֹא-אֶמּוֹט רַבָּה.
-Surely, He is my rock and my salvation
        - "rock" is figurative of God as support and defense of His people
-my refuge (alternate translations: secure height/stronghold/retreat, i.e. place of safety and security)
-I will not be shaken (alternate trans: moved/tottered/slip/be overthrown) ever (alt trans: at all -- emphatic)!

The imagery of God being a refuge - a high secure place of safety - is repeated throughout this psalm. He is "my refuge" is literally "secure height" which is interesting, since in v. 2c "I will not be shaken, ever!", the word "shaken" can be translated "tottered" or "toppled".  These are words that are related to being on a high plain and are also used in vv. 3-4 (totter, topple, lofty).  God is my secure height; I will not be toppled, ever!

Verses 11 and 12 sum up the main idea of the psalm nicely.  "Power belongs to you, God, and with you, Lord, is unfailing love."  Because power belongs to God, He is able to be that refuge, shield of protection and deliverer from evil.  And because of His unfailing love, the psalmist knows that God will harness that power for him (and on his behalf), so that he can rest in the calmness and peace that is derived from a sense of security.  The imagery I see from this is that the psalmist is being suspended in protection (over a cliff, but safely) by God's power and love. 

The injunction to us, modern-day readers, is this:  Trust him at all times; pour out your hearts to Him (v. 8); and do what is right (v.12), for the Lord God is our Rock and our Salvation. 

On Sunday, we sang a worship song with lyrics made up of the words to Psalm 23.  Because I spent hours and hours translating this psalm and exegeting it for my final paper in Hebrew, I was 'slightly' bowled over by the depth of meaning I experienced as I sang the words.  To blog all the different nuances I learned would be tedious, but today I wanted to share one thing that continues to make ripples in my heart. 

At the end of the psalm in verse 6, most Bible versions render the verse, "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life..."  Interestingly, the word that is translated "follow" from the Hebrew is more accurately (in my opinion) translated "to attend closely to" or "pursue."  In the Old Testament, this word is most often used to describe enemies who hotly pursue their adversaries.  However, because of God's protection, it is not enemies who hotly pursue the psalmist (nor us) but God's goodness and faithfulness.  What an incredible, vivid image it is to see God's goodness and faithfulness personified here as being in hot pursuit of me!  I have no fear of enemies chasing me, being hot on my trail, breathing down my neck.  Instead, I have the shalom-giving assurance that God is hot on my heels, actively chasing me down with his goodness and faithfulness.  His love for me is ACTIVE, not passive or stationary...

Something about this truth just causes me to bow and worship.

Meditating on Psalm 46 today and feel surprised that the psalmist is able to declare that "though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea," we don't need to be afraid.  But aren't those things just so tremendous and terrible?  Those are end-of-the-world catastrophes (which we feel personally on a smaller scale in losing a job, losing a loved one, a terrible divorce, or a war ensuing), and yet God is greater and more powerful than all those things, and HE is our refuge and our strength.  Sometimes I'm just filled with fears about the unknown future -- like this morning when I woke up -- but God reminds me that He is All-mighty, He is our fortress, and He is our strength, therefore we will not fear.