The other night, it truly dawned on me that I am one of the most blessed people in the world!  Right now, I get to be a wife (to the best husband in the world), a mom (to love-incarnate), a writer (and writing gives me a runner's high, a sugar high, and a caffeine buzz all at once -- this is when I feel God's pleasure the most), a seminarian (how I love learning about and thinking about theological issues), and a missions recruiter (keeping the passion and calling alive for missions as I encourage others to go!).  I only need to pastor (teach/disciple/lead a Bible study) and I will have it all covered -- all my passions, dreams and desires!  How awesome is that!  I am in absolute awe and disbelief.  God is allowing me to actively pursue all the things I love. 

I turn 31 today.  And though I have enough gray strands on my head to prove my 31 years, I am not at all in dread of my accrual of days -- for I am finally again pursuing the things God wants me to, and I am feeling the thrill of it.

I am no longer inactive and asleep.  I am in motion, in movement.  It won't be long before we will be starting our home group/Bible study, and then I really will be doing it all -- using all my gifts and touching on many of the dreams God has given me. 

I'm 31 and so blessed!  I'm so glad life gets better and better.  When I was engaged to be married, I thought I was on top of the world.  It wasn't that I thought life couldn't get any better, but I had not experienced better up to that point.  Now I know a life infinitely better than back then.  And I know it's going to get better and better as I keep following Jesus. 

Yesterday, I had another birthday.  I am now officially late twenties, almost thirty.  Yikes!  But, at the age of twenty-seven, I am exactly where I would like to be:  certain of my eternal destiny, in a love-relationship with the God of the universe, on the verge of marrying a man who loves and cherishes me, on the way to the mission field, in 'right' relationship with my parents and sister, pursuing my dream of writing -- and all the while knowing full well that I'm at the center of God's will.  Getting older just means getting one step closer to Jesus.  What an awesome thing!

Yesterday was my first birthday in America in two years, so I have been so used to having the day slip by like it was any ordinary day that being remembered was surprising -- I mean -- "being remembered" by people.  Because, no matter where we are; with God, we never slip by unnoticed. 

Last year, I almost got hit by a large bus ambling down a small side street in the heat of one of China's most populous cities on the day before my birthday.  And on my birthday, God arranged it so that my life verse and song were on center stage at the registered church where our team worshiped.  God had a special exhortation for me:  What is more...everything (is) a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.  I consider them rubbish that I may gain Christ and be found in Him.  Tru dat!  It was a reminder and a confirmation and a conviction and an opportunity to say, "Yes, God!" all over again.  There is nothing better than knowing Jesus!  My life is certainly not my own.

This past year has been the year of the Lord's favor for me -- and as I celebrated with my family -- which now includes a fiance -- and some friends, I can't help but think with awe how true it is that when you give your life away, when you count it all as rubbish, you can get it back in a magnitude and depth that so far surpasses that which you had previously offered up with such short-sighted anguish that it just leaves you in breathless worship. 

Quarter of a Century Landmark

On July 17th while I'm in China, I'll be turning 25.  That's a pretty "landmark" age, isn't it?  When I was younger, I thought being 25 was "soo old."  And when I imagined myself at 25, I thought I'd be taller - and white (somehow, I always had this notion that I'd grow up and one day be white).  Well, at 25, I'm happily still Vietnamese and still just barely 5 feet tall.  Some dreams just don't come true and there are reasons for that!

I am turning 25, and there's never been so many reasons to feel alive - and be alive.  The world behind me, God's great adventure before me.  I can hardly believe how cherished I am by the Creator of the universe.  His love is deeper than the ocean -- and oceans go pretty deep...

The questions I want to answer at this turning point of my life:

1.  What are you doing with your life?  I have made a committment to work for PESI, a Christian agency based on Christian values and principles, which has the service of sending professionals overseas in the areas of education, business, technology and health services.  I'll have the job of inspiring people to consider the possibility of working overseas by giving them an opportunity to go overseas on a short term program.  Our ultimate mission is to glorify God.  My ultimate desire is to help people see what God's will is for their life, how they can participate in God's passion and whether or not it is possibly in serving Him overseas.

2.  Where do you see yourself in 5 years?  Hard question!  I'm committed to this internship with PESI for a year, but I'm planning to stay longer - as the Lord leads.  After that, depending on whether I stay on with PESI or not, there are two dreams I'd like pursue.  I'll pick one.
      In 5 years, it'd be nice to be married with a baby underway - if that is the route God has for me...

3.  Do you have a boyfriend?  Are you pursuing marriage?  I remember doing a missionary prep book a few years back which asked your status.  I thought one of the options was quite fitting:  "single but open to change."  The question, of course, is - am I open or very open?  haha.
      I once was very desperate to get married.  I thought I would "finally" be deemed valuable if someone would deem me valuable enough to commit his life to me.  Fortunately, God rescued me from such a silly notion.  I am already valuable and significant because I belong to Him; I don't "need" a man to make me so.
      "Single for life" has a sort of romantic haze all around it, to me.  Romantic in the sense that it would mean that God would have some sort of specialized, unique and out of the ordinary assignment for my life that cannot be accomplished if my attention is divided.  And romantic in the sense that God would be my great companion, and I would come to know Him and be familiar with Him in a way that no married woman ever could be.
      But of course, there's something very romantic about having an earthly companion who would be a tangible demonstration of God's sacrificial love.  Something wonderful about being with someone who loves Jesus and would spur me on to love Him more and whom I could inspire to pursue after God with more gusto.  Something ideal about being able to serve and glorify God better together than apart.
      So to answer the latter question, I'm not "pursuing" marriage persay - just willing to embrace the romance God has for me.

4.  What are some of your regrets in the last few years?  1.  I wish I had been in better emotional health when I got the chance to room with my best friend 1.5 yrs ago, so I could've enjoyed that brief time together better.  2.  I wish that I hadn't been working full-time during my second year on staff with the Navigators, so I could've had a greater capacity to invest in the students.  3.  I wish I had abstained from certain things I'd done in my non-Christian days.  4.  I wish I had made more time to spend with my old high school friends who came back to San Diego after graduating from college.  5.  I wish I had done better at developing relationships with my San Diego relatives.
      Even so, I know that nothing happens outside of God's will, and there are reasons why these things happened the way they did, so I don't have serious regrets over these things.  I just trust that God has His purposes. 

5.  What has been some of your greatest accomplishments?  I don't think I can really claim any accomplishment as my own, but 3 things I'm really glad God let me in on are:  1.  being a part of a fellowship (while in college) which followed the New Testament Acts model (the Lord was adding daily to our number those who were being saved).  2.  leading girls to Christ and then helping them grow to the kind of maturity which meant leading others to Christ.  3.  being able to "publish" almost daily with a wide readership who are encouraged by my writing and so thereby being able to glorify God through my writing!  (praise the Lord for xanga!)

6.  What are some significant Scriptures which have impacted your life?  1.  Phil 3:8 - helped me understand that I must be "all or nothing" with God.  2.  Luke 5 (Peter's call) - obey God even when you don't understand how or why, and you will catch much fish (spiritual milestone for me because it compelled me to start my first small group, Baby Sparks).  3.  1 Kings 19:19-21 (Elisha's call) - an inspiring example of what it means to follow God - burn everything behind you, leave no back doors.

7.  What are five things you're looking forward to in this landmark year?
   1.  going to China on missions
   2.  full-time ministry
   3.  holding my sister's baby in my arms
   4.  going to my best friend's wedding (here's hoping!)
   5.  ...um...well, some things need to be kept secret.

Lord Jesus, I love you.  Thank you for this life.