Growing up, I had little spiritual or religious teaching and training from my parents.  Despite this, I have always known that we were created for something more than what we saw and touched in this life.  From the early age of eight, I wondered about my meaning and purpose.  I wondered if there was a God and what impact his existence would have on me.  I was very attentive to anything I could learn about eternity from my parents from their Buddhist-influenced Vietnamese traditions.  I looked at different religious paraphernalia that came to our door and turned over the lessons from school about evolution. Still, I felt like none of these philosophies answered my deep questions about life.  

As part of my search for understanding, I began to pray every night to “God” – though who he really was, I did not know.  After several years of this, I questioned my actions. Who was I praying to?  Was God even real?  I decided to embark on a scientific experiment.  It was the summer before eighth grade year, and I was taking Life Science for summer school.  Because of the accelerated time-frame, we had an exam every day.  Every night, I would study and then pray that God would grant me an A.  Sure enough, I would always receive an A!  One night I decided to study as usual but not pray.  Would there be any difference?  God knew this was a critical moment in my journey, so he helped me produce a B on that exam.  When I got my grade, knowing that I had done nothing different the previous night except omit prayer, I knew in that moment that I would never not pray again!

The incident confirmed that prayer mattered but I was still lost.  Loneliness pervaded, and due to some other circumstances in my life, I felt the emptiness so keenly that I became suicidal toward the end of my eighth grade year.  God intervened, however, in the form of a near death experience I had while bike riding.  Bruised and scratched from the incident,I was in awe that I had narrowly escaped death. Something told me that it was not an accident that I was still alive.  And I believed that it was God who spared me from death because he loved me and had a plan for my life.

Still, I did not know that sin kept me separated from this God of love.  I did not know Jesus who could bridge that great divide between us.  The emptiness continued to drag me down like an acme anvil was tied to my soul and spirit.  In high school, I attempted to fill the void by excelling in academics, becoming the best friend I possibly could and in seeking romantic relationships, but none of those pursuits answered the hunger of my soul.   I can still remember coming home from parties and sitting in my room at night feeling an inexplicable darkness engulf me.  The hollowness in my heart was more real than anything else I could taste and touch.  

In my third year in high school, I asked a classmate to take me to his church.  There, I heard the Bible being preached for the first time.  I was captured.  I knew that this was what I had been looking for my whole life.  I felt like my thirsty soul was drinking real water for the first time, because it was the first time that I felt satisfied.

A few months later, I sat in my room reading a gospel tract which explained with clarity my need for Jesus.  I prayed the prayer to accept Jesus as my Savior and, in that very moment, I experienced a peace over my entire being that I had never experienced before.  From that day on, the soul emptiness that had plagued me my entire life was permanently chased away.   

At God’s table, there is abundance of soul-satisfying food and drink.  To this day, I find myself still so eager to come to his table to dine.  There are times when my thoughts are obscured and I think I can find satisfaction from other things, but there is always invitation and welcome at God’s table, and he welcomes me back to my soul’s satisfaction.