April 27, 2011

• Lordship

  My life could most easily be summed up in this one word:  Lordship.  It has been a continual battle for and declaration of Christ's lordship in my life. 

  Psalm 16:2, "I say to the Lord, 'You are my LORD; apart from you, I have no good thing.'"

  When I meditate on this verse, I always emphasize the first 'you'.  "I say to the Lord, 'YOU are my Lord...'"  He is my Lord -- and not anyone or anything else.  But what does that mean and what does that look like in my life?  I had 27 years of singlehood in which I came at some certain point to grasp what his lordship looked like in my single-minded, devoted life.  But what does it look like now?  After 5 years of marriage and 2 years of parenthood, I can confidently say that I don't know!

  I wrestle with my flesh and my responsibilities on a daily basis.  There's the tiredness, exhaustion and sheer lazyness.  There's the endless list of to-dos.  And the enduring longing to spend every precious moment with my baby.  How do I give him lordship over all of these?  And what does that look like?

  The deepest depths of my soul knows that apart from him -- apart from him -- I have no good thing.  So why is it that I spend so many moments and so many days apart from him?  Tasks drive my life rather than my soul-craving.  Why do I live my life apart from him?

  Lord, you are my Lord!  Some days, I get this right.  I declare it and I live it with every ounce and fiber of my being.  And I experience all that is good -- yes, all that is good -- from being united with him.  And I realize in those moments that I cannot bow enough, I cannot worship enough, I cannot honor and exalt him enough.  He is the Lord -- he is my Lord -- and apart from him, I have nothing good. 

  When the psalmist David wrote 'LORD', he didn't just mean 'sir'.  He was referring to YHWH -- the very personal, very intimate, graciously revealed, covenant God of Israel.  And that is who he is.  Lord, you are my very intimate God who has graciously revealed himself to me.  You are my LORD!  Deeply, personally, intimately -- why would I ever want to be apart from you when I have known you and you know me?

  I never want to be apart from you. 

  But how do I make this true, truer and ever-more-so true each new day?

  • 3:37 am
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