February 20, 2011
-
Nervousness
I'm always nervous when I'm going to lead a Bible study or teach a lesson. The nervous energy usually means that I can't eat or attend to a conversation. My years of teaching high school Sunday school are full of flashbacks of running into the prayer room seconds before the class would start, falling on my face with desperate cries to God. I think the anxiety is mostly due, on one hand, to my need to control and the need to give up control if I want God to work, and on the other hand, the anxious anticipation of God to do something unanticipated. Bible studies just don't work like formulas. And that's what's so exciting and terrifying to me. I can't control the outcome. The Holy Spirit breathes wherever he wills. You don't know exactly where he's going to go or what will happen, but you know with certainly that something will happen. The inability to foresee, predict and control outcomes can be so terrifying to me.
Comments (2)
So it's not a particular outcome that you fear? It's just dread of the loss of control?
I think when I get nervous, it's because I am afraid that people won't engage with the lesson. I rarely get nervous nowadays with (1) women (2) junior high/ high schoolers. Nowadays I only get nervous before teaching children.
@licoreen - I think it's the not-knowing of the outcome.
But I have a fear of public speaking in general. Once I get going, it's fine, but right before, I'm ALWAYS nervous. Not sure why.
Comments are closed.