December 15, 2009
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Re: Reconciliation
In regard to my desire to live in harmony with others as much as I am able in 2010: This is closely related to a need to seek reconciliation before the close of 2009. Something I realize is that it's hard to say, "I'm sorry" but it's even harder for me to tell someone I have forgiven them. (Strange, isn't it? You'd think the latter would be easier.) But one thing I've realized is that there is freedom in asking forgiveness and there's even greater freedom in forgiving.
Phil 2:3-4 has been the leading verse in this area:
"Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others."- How do I make sure I am looking out for the interests of others?
- How do I value others above myself?
- How do I act with humility?To "value someone above myself" could mean to apologize even if I'm not necessarily wrong or the only one who did wrong.
"In humility" means to treat myself as of lower rank and importance, not with condescension, not with arrogance.
Especially in terms of reconciliation, I need to not seek to make myself feel better. The purpose is to apologize if I have offended or wronged someone in order to right a wrong. I'm not looking for apologies in return. Also, even if I am not forgiven, that is ok too.
Comments (1)
Hmm, I find myself quick to apologize when it's not my fault--I must have an atypical problem!
How true that sometimes people ask our forgiveness before we are quite ready to give it.
One important lesson that I've learned over the last few years is that it is quite possible to forgive someone and let the hurt/bitterness go, even if they never apologize. In fact, the bitterness only poisons our own soul, so we actually free ourselves by forgiving. I find that it helps also to visualize leaving the injustice in God's hands.