March 12, 2008
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Throwing open the gates of Heaven
Giving out affirmation and words of appreciation does not come naturally for me. Does it come naturally for anyone? As far as I know, most people have to go out of their way to remind themselves to dish out the praise — and this is even more so true if you’re an Asian American. Perhaps it is only me, but in my limited experience, I’ve observed that many Asians have trouble saying, “You did good.” “Thanks!” and “I appreciate you.”
Most of us would agree, however, that we just can’t get enough affirmation. We’d love it if our peers, our spouse, our teacher, our boss and our parents would say more often and with genuine enthusiasm, “You’re doing such a good job.” And while we ought not live for the praise of people and nor are we able to force others to affirm us, we certainly can choose to be more affirming toward others. Perhaps as we seek to affirm others, we can create an ‘affirming culture’. Is there such a thing? I don’t know, but I’d love to see it happen.
Sam and I practice affirmation in our family. We say thank you to each other all the time. We say, “You’re doing a good job.” We say I love you at least thirty times a day — probably more. We are creating an affirming culture now because we believe it’s important. And when our family grows bigger with children, they will never feel the lack of affirmation or love. Why should they have to wait until graduation day to finally hear, “I’m proud of you” and then never again? We want to celebrate every little milestone as well as all the big ones and tell them every day that we love and appreciate them — not simply for what they have done right but simply for who they are.
It’s funny because while it took a lot of effort to develop the habit of affirmation, now I just can’t do without it. There’s something so incredibly freeing about encouraging others. The glimmer I see in the eyes of the one affirmed shows me that the gates of Heaven were thrown open for a moment as they realized how much value they have as a beloved of the Creator. In affirming others, we receive the great joy of giving a free gift to someone — it always somehow comes back to bless us in return. And most times, I find, that is all the affirmation I need.
Comments (8)
great job on this wonderfully-written and insightful post! you’re such a great writer, and i’m glad you continue to bless all of us with your writing ministry.
Awesome entry, Mary Ann!
Do you mind if I link your post on my Xanga? I will give you proper credit, of course.
I was so blessed by your entry that I would like to share it with my audience too.
Love you, sister – keep shining for Him in your writing, prayers, and actions. :]
LOVE,
Janette
yes, let’s! From what I’ve seen, people who are genuinely affirming stand out in an incredible way because it’s just so unusual in this critical, backstabbing society that we live in. Since we’re secure in our identity in Christ, there’s no need to be super critical and instead we get to build people up by pointing out the good and beautiful things about their actions or character. I think this world needs a little more of that
thank you, thank you, thank you… for sharing your insight with us all here. =)
THANKS for sharing your thoughts on this very relevant topic! we can all use a great reminder to be more affirming to others
Mary Ann…. checked out scratchpaperthoughts .. pretty cool. Yeah you should be able to post pictures. They give you 3GB for free. Under the write tab, below where you write your posts, there’s a place where you can upload photos. After you uploaded it, just click send to editor and it will go into your post.
a few years ago, i had noticed this lack of positive affirmation. so i decided that i would try to change that. i’m not fake about it, but i do try my best to remember to thank someone who helps me at work…thank my children’s worship helpers…it feels great to be recognized, and i hope that those friends would also be encouraged to do the same for others, as well.
another great post. =)
I affirm you my friend!