August 24, 2007
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i had a dream last nite that julie came to me, and we just stood side
by side talking to each other as if no time had passed. it felt so real. i
woke up this morning remembering the dream and then remembering that
julie passed away exactly 'last nite' two years ago. i hadn't even remembered that until that moment...was flung into that sorrow and grief all over again as i read the tribute i wrote to her at her memorial service as well as this impassioned letter and many others. i guess you just never forget. driving to work this morning, i kept thinking how the world is just not the same without her in it. i wish she was still here.
i couldn't help but thinking too that God is so gracious to me. he still lets me talk to her in my dreams... reminding me that she's more alive now than ever, and one day, we will see each other again face-to-face. i can't even imagine. but a lifetime seems too long to wait before i get to laugh with her again.
Comments (5)
"reminding me that she's more alive now than ever". It's true. And I bet she misses you too.
that is really sweet - God totally knows your heart and lets you guys have way secret convos. so cool.
thanks for the updates. Xanga is blocked in China, hence why I haven't commented for sometime. (I'm currently in South Korea on vacation). I'm always encouraged by you updates and look forward to reading how you're being blessed and used by God. Although you don't have a clue who I am, your words are sometimes the encouragment or reminder I need to stay strong and focused. I'm just curious, in regards to your friend Julie, I'm wondering if you were ever angry with God when He called her home? Or, did her death shake your faith?
I think your entry "sorry and grief" answered my question.
Yeah, I did ask (and sometimes still do) WHY He had to take HER home... there was a bit of anger there, but not enough to shake my faith. It did make me have to face the reality of heaven and hell. I had to ask myself if I really do believe that there is an eternal place by His side that souls go to after they die. And after asking myself, I said, yes. Julie is there.