May 23, 2007
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Nothing profound but...
I was getting gas today and remembered the first time I got gas. I had just gotten my license at the age of 17. The gas price was around $1.20-$1.30 back then. I had been driving around for several days when I began to run low, so I headed for the Mobile station near my house. I remember distinctly that it was a strangely quiet time of the day, because there weren't many other cars at the station. I also remember quite distinctly that as I pulled up to a pump, I realized that I had no idea how to actually do it. I had seen my mom do it dozens of time so I had the general idea of the script, but as I sat staring up at the pump from my driver's seat, it dawned on me that there were definite gaps between what I knew and what I assumed. Time passed as I sat there pondering what to do.
Well, I was there, so I couldn't turn around and go home. I got out of my car, paid the attendant some money, took the pump in hand and put it into the gas tank valve, pressed the button to choose which kind of fuel I wanted and then pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. I released the trigger and tried again, but still nothing happened. I started to panic a teensy bit as I looked around to see if anyone would notice that I didn't know what I was doing. I felt so embarassed. I mean what kind of fool doesn't know how to pump gas?? I looked back at the pump, looked at the car, looked at the pump again... oh man, what was I gonna do? Finally, the gas attendant walked by. I felt like he was looking at me quizzically and I knew this was my chance to swallow my pride and ask for help. After I confessed my ignorance, the attendant very matter-of-factly replied, "You need to flip that switch up." I did what he said and was soon on my way.
I was so embarassed. I dunno why. Looking back, I realize it was really no big deal, but I guess it's always such a big deal when you're in the moment. I was so embarassed by it, I don't think I've ever told anyone that story. Until now.
It was funny to remember that incident as I was getting gas today and realize how far I've come since that day over a decade ago. The incident well captures the ignorance of my youth... and yet, it also reveals an honest human experience of the humbling of pride (a.k.a. slight humiliation). Which, in reality, I guess I've not come very far from. It's so hard to admit when I don't know something. It's so hard for me to ask for help. I don't want to risk sounding dumb or looking dumb. I don't want to risk looking the fool or being the butt end of the joke. But maybe that's the only way to really grow up. Taking risks.
Comments (6)
hahahaha!
the first time i tried to put gas in my car, it didn't work either, so i actually asked the attendant for help.
this is what he said:
"diesel gas is only for big trucks."
:X
good story.
true dat, i remember being completely cluess the first time and scared getting gas the first few times... this is very interesting...
I may be a unique case (or maybe just a male case), but I remember being the one who always put gas in my mom's car and being given the credit card to pay for it. I remember when gas cost less than a dollar in San Diego.
Hm... sounds like a good sermon illustration
My college roommate did not know how to pump gas because her dad always did it for her. He felt that women should not have to pump gas so he always traded cars with his wife and daughter so they would not have to. I think that's pretty cool.
Growing up, my mom had always given me the money to go pay the gas attendant/cashier, but she never actually had me handle the pump. That was why I was clueless.
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