Do you think the church lays a heavier hand on telling young girls to be modest and dress modestly to help their brothers keep pure than it does in teaching young boys to look away, be self-controlled, and how to be pure? -- or do you think it's equal?
Comments (11)
hmm...interesting question. I can't really say because usually the leaders address these things when the girls are separated from the boys. Girls are usually told to be modest at a girl ministry night, whereas I am assuming that guys will get theirs in their own meeting. But of course, I don't know for sure...cuz I wasn't there.
Daniel and I had given a talk on purity though to our youths and we addressed to both gender equally.
ditto. i feel like i heard it a lot.. because i'm a girl and that's all i heard. i obviously did not get the normal boy talk about purity.
well, for a blanket statement for the church in regards to guys ...I'd say the church often tells boys to "look away" and "be self controlled"...but they don't say much about the how. whoops...
I think that the intensity of exhortation being inequal or equal perhaps isn't the issue...as much as how the church will be built up properly in this regard, through each gender actively seeking to edify the other in love...whether it's being modest in dress or keeping their eyes and hearts above reproach...
good question. in a more sweeping generalization kind of answering way, i'd say that the church typically does a poor job of teaching people how to be thinking people.
instead of teaching girls what it means to value our bodies and desire to wear clothes that honour christ, we're taught to not cause our brother to stumble. an ok motivator, but isn't it supposed to be that pleasing christ is our desire?
instead of teaching boys (and girls!) that we're not slaves to our bodies once we're in christ, we don't have to follow it's lustful ways, we're taught to just pen up all our emotions.
i like what derek webb has to say about that: "don't teach me about politics and government, just tell me who to vote for. don't teach me about moderation and liberty, just give me a shot of grape juice."
i want my friends to know that obeying christ is of such better worth than just making up rules to follow.
--lb
amen, lauren. amen. i love what you've written. i was thinking exactly the same thing.
the church doesn't teach very well, and the untaught don't consider the possibility that they ought to proactively go and seek answers and learn.
this is an excellent question. an excellent one indeed.
interesting question. it definitely was when I learned the WHY and then the HOW (specifically regarding purity, but I'm sure that it applies to other things too) that my thinking changed. maybe both men and women need to be taught more about truths and practical applications.
very interesting. I agree w/ Lauren too.
I always thought ppl probably think its just easier to tell the girls to cover up than for the boys to control their hormones.
in my experience, it doesn't come up very often in front of everyone. with our prayer group guys, though, we do talk about that a lot...emotional, mental, and spiritual purity regarding women.
In my experience, I think its true that guys don't get enough of the "do not lust" talk. I really don't know how much the girls get that "be modest" talk.
I think this has to do with the fact that the older guys who are supposed to be doing this teaching haven't been taught themselves and haven't really "won" the "do not lust battle."
I myself admit that I haven't won the do not lust battle, at least not enough to be able to confidently pass on words of wisdom to younger guys. Contrary to what a lot of people have told me too, I think it is slightly easier when yer married.
regarding randplaty's comment...i'm not sure if it is possible for guys to ever say that we have "won the lust battle." it is always there, always constant...for me, it's a daily battle.