June 5, 2006
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“Mom & Dad” – (poll of the week)
In Vietnamese culture, when two people get married, you call your spouse’s parents the same thing you call your own parents – “Mom” and “Dad.” There is no distinction. Both sets are your parents. So, growing up, it was always a ‘given’ to me that I would call my in-laws Mom & Dad. In the last few months, as I’ve asked around among my friends, I’ve found that not everyone goes with that because it seems “really weird.”
What do you think? Would you in the future (if you are not married now) or do you now (if you are married) call your in-laws “Mom & Dad” or “Mr.&Mrs. —” or “Auntie & Uncle” or by their first names?
Comments (12)
I call my MIL Mom when addressing her; however, I will refer to her by her name or say my MIL when talking to other people just for clarification.
haha…i’m trying to call my MIL mom but it’s just…so hard to utter. haha…i feel weird to call my FIL dad too. My parents told me to call them mom and dad otherwise it’s not respectful. I didn’t even know about that. Why didn’t they prep me earlier before I got married?
It almost seems like something in Asian culture. My parents do it, so I don’t think it’s weird
I call the in-laws mom and dad, after almost 3 years it still sticks on the tongue a little though
My brother does it too and the in-laws are Vietnamese and Chinese mix too, but then we’ve known them for 10 years and they include us in some of their family celebrations too.
i have no idea what i will call them…it depends on what they tell me to do, or if it comes up in convo maybe we will discuss it. they are less casual than my parents about a lot of stuff, so i don’t want to presume i can call them mom and dad, esp. since they are not asian! right now, even while engaged, i still call them mr. and mrs. that seems too formal for in-laws, but i wont’ change it unless we decide as a group to do so. i will probably end up just with first names?
but i know my parents will want him to call them mom and dad. at least my dad totally will.
it’ll take some getting used to for me, as the only ppl i’ve ever called mom and dad are mr. and mrs. kwok. =) as a sidenote… WE will be mr. and mrs. kwok. WHOA. :O
i call eric’s mom “mom”. when i asked her what i should call her after we got married, she said that either “mom” or “mom” + her first name is fine. i love calling her “mom”
before we got married i would call her “mrs.” + her last name.
My understanding has been that typically it is in Asian cultures that we refer to the in-laws as “aunty” and “uncle” and in most Western cultures the in-laws are referred to as “mom” and “dad,” but apparently the consensus on the web is the ask them their preference or call them what makes you feel comfortable.
How about calling her Millie (from MIL) and him Fillie (from FIL).
j/k.
my parents do the mom and dad thing too for my grandparents. i think it’s normal and cool. i like the idea of how as a man and woman become one in marriage, i think their families also become one.
I call my hubby’s parents “Mom” and “Dad’ (when he was alive). I still call my own parents “Mommy” and “Daddy”
As an extension, I’ll address his siblings as “sis” and “bro” (and since I don’t have brothers, that part feels weird but not)
i think over time i’ll be able to do that. it’s just weird cuz they’re not my real parents & i feel like i’m giving my parents less love by using their names on others. it must be a cultural thing..