October 23, 2005

• throwing it all away

  
  

  i’m moving and i’m throwing everything away.  old letters, old cards, old midterms, old college notes, old keepsakes, old memories.  there’s this freeing feeling yet a dying feeling as i’m doing this.  i’m getting ready for that eventual big move, i guess.  from sd on to the next place and from that next place on to another country and from that country onto the country.  we can’t take any of this stuff with us anyway, so why am i holding onto it now?  i wonder why God made me so sentimental.  it feels like i’m throwing a part of myself away at times and yet i know that is hardly true.  “stuff” just hinders.  and i just want to throw everything away which hinders me from preaching the gospel.  so i’m ignoring the pain, closing my eyes, biting the bullet and just tossing.  oh semzy, you’d be so proud.   

  
  

  doing the same thing twice?

  
  

  over the years, i’ve written so many bible studies and come up with so many small group ideas, great expansive vision for the far future, dreaming about how “this group” will make a revolution for Jesus; i’ve got all these strategies on a thousand different pieces of papers and inside dozens of notebooks.  i’ve saved it all, it seems.  i think i’ve always hoped to re-use my old materials, go back to that plan, use that strategy, re-use that old message i taught or bible study or sunday school lesson…  but the reality is that every group is different. i hardly ever re-use old material.  i hate doing the same thing twice.  so the question is… why am i keeping every little thing?  God will give me fresh insights and revelation for the next group.  and that would be exactly what i would want.  so out with the old and in with the new!  i’m gonna throw away as much as possible!

  • 2:40 am
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