January 20, 2005

• i miss my mom.

  
  

  i miss being at home, knowing she’s floating around busily making life easy and wonderful for everyone.  her ability to keep everything together is so effortless, it astounds me.  but somehow, she’s always able to take care of her daughters, her husband and now her grandson so well that we just don’t ever notice.  you just don’t “notice” when nothing is amiss. 

  
  

  how does she do it?  i hardly know.  but always without fail, the food gets on the table, the amazing deserts made, the laundry is done, the house is cleaned, the pants are hemmed… and she pokes her head into my room in the morning before she goes to work, while i’m still groggily in bed, with that thoughtful smile of sweetness i always see… 

  
  

  it’s always been the reassuring early morning checking in (how i love to be awakened by the quiet rustling of her clothes) and the late night peering ins (she doesn’t know it, but i always felt her presence when she’d peak in to make sure i was in bed) that makes home really home, makes me feel like i’m cradled in love.  (what a picture!)

  
  

  the fact that i can’t put my arms around her little frame right now puts a lump in my throat.

  • 4:27 am
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