March 29, 2004
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rebel at heart
most of you probably do not know this, but i have a bit of a rebel spirit in me. i won't just follow the crowd, conform to institutions, traditions or common practices "just 'cause". i absolutely refuse to do anything unless i know why i'm doing it first. i'm always seeking meaning and purpose in things...
questions i've asked and some i'm still asking:
why are we here?
does God exist?
did Jesus really die and come back to life?
why should we pray before every meal?
why is church done the way it is? (is having a preacher stand in front of the room teaching the way God intended for us to fellowship as a family?)
why should I go to sunday school or to fellowship?
for what reason should i evangelize?
why shouldn't i cuss?
why should i have boundaries with guys?
why should i let the guy initiate?
do you ask questions?
sometimes i just want to start a revolution because i think the form and structure and "institution" of church distracts us from God's intention for His Kingdom. we've got it all wrong somehow...
When I'm alone with God and when I'm with smaller groups of people who know God deeply and intimately and are trusting Him for radical things in their lives, I get a glimpse of this amazing, awesome, limitless God. He is so dynamic, radical, beyond our comprehension, cannot be boxed, programmed or figured out. I love it. I love how adventurous and exciting and in-comprehensible He is. I love that His power and the possibilities we have with Him are so limitless...
But why is that I - even I who love God more than life itself - can find that church can be so boring. Sermons can be so boring. Why is it like that? And what can be done to change things? Anybody with me on this one? Or am I the only rebel here?
Comments (4)
oh my goodness!!! I'm totally like that, too...I can see how you are like that - b/c you're so introspective. But being that way makes your convictions and beliefs and behaviors THAT much more rooted =) At least that's what I tell myself...We should talk more about this when you come up to the bay!
Yes, you are the only one...if that means that you are one of many. Thanks for the advice.
I don't think you are a rebel in general, but rather, a rebel against complacency and routine. You enjoy being alone with God or with a group of people that are desiring God, and that's a sign that you want to go deep with God. That's not being rebellious!
But i agree with you though, because I found church boring sometimes. A small part of it has to do with the worship music and the sermons, but those are only minor issues. I think the 2 main reasons as to why we feel that way are:
- the larger body of Christ at that church are complacent due to lack of challenge. They don't really desire God or be drawn by His glory. They lack a day-to-day encounter with Jesus because of their complacency in life, and that attitude is reflected at church, during worship. You know what I mean - sometimes you could really feel the presence of the holy spirit flowing out of the worshippers, or lack thereof.
- The church is complacent due to the lack of challenge, persecution, and suffering. Persecution and suffering are a vital part of our growth, esp as a body of Christ at a church. Persecutions and suffering stimulate and challenge our faith like nothing else can. For example, when you go to school, you don't only just go to class, do you hw and that's it. You have to take midterms and finals, and those are the 'trials' for the class - to stimulate our minds and challenge our knowledge on that subject. Similarly, trials, persecutions and suffering work in the same way. Without them, churches can easily slip into complacency. Thus going to church becomes a routine, not a faith stretching experience. (I mean, if you live in China and attend a house church, you'll never know when you''ll be arrested. Every time you go to church is an act of your faith.)
Because majority of the christians in N.American do not and may never experience suffering and persecutions the way others would, we have a bigger chance of falling into complacency. We should therefore embrace the challenges that God has given to us, as a body, as a church. But then again, if the people at church wouldn't take up the challenge, what can you do?
read "life together" by bonhoeffer. your questions will be answered.
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