June 16, 2009

• Empathy

  A friend sent me a link to this article (click here) where a dad tries on pregnant belly suit for a day in order to understand what his wife went through during pregnancy.  I like the article and think all men should try to walk in the shoes of a pregnant woman at least once in his life!  The belly suit may not be completely accurate, but it does its job of cultivating empathy and understanding. 

  Some of the things I appreciated about the article was how the author identified the sense of loneliness that pregnant women feel.  Even though I have a very compassionate, supportive husband, the truth is, being pregnant is still something that only my body is going through.  Some of the heartache I’ve experienced during this pregnancy has been from wishing that he could really share the burden with me.  When it’s been particularly hard, I’ve asked him (ridiculously) to ‘take the baby from me and put it in your belly’.  And though he is lovingly sympathetic, sometimes I keenly feel that it’s like he’s just standing on the outside, looking into a window at me. 

  There’s also a sense of helplessness when it comes to pregnancy, which the author accurately identifies.  Your body is out of your control; it does things that you didn’t tell it to; and it surprises you at every turn.  And with all this new weight you’re carrying around, your pelvic bones weakening and the real exhaustion that you feel, there’s a great limitation to what you can do.  You can’t pick up things off the floor, get off the couch without a boost, carry things that are too heavy, or even chase your husband around a little room without feeling wiped out.  I thought it was funny that the author’s Granny said, “I bet you can’t tie your own shoes.”  He thought she was just poking fun of him, but around here, it’s a daily reality.  Sam has to tie my shoes for me. 

  Lastly, the author expressed an admiration for women who are willing to endure pregnancy a second time.  I agree!  I’m amazed by women who will do it a second time.  And the funny thing is that I had always thought that the only women who are willing to be pregnant again are the ones who had pleasant, painless experiences — but the more women I talk to, the more I realize that I was wrong.  Just last night, I spoke to two women at my church who had very difficult first pregnancies.  However, they both had three more after that.  These women are my heroes.  I will not be in this category.

  Being a mom is the toughest job in the world… and that job doesn’t start with the day the baby is born.  It starts at conception. 

  • 6:10 pm
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