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Wounds

So many thoughts whirring in my mind and pressing on my heart... At church last night, I was touched by P. Jamie's sermon. The question posed in the end was about fear. Is there fear holding me back from serving the L…
To bow or not to bow, to kneel or not to kneel

My grandma passed away last week. We had a wake/funeral for her on Wednesday and Thursday. Both services were led by Buddhist monks. They chanted sutras for a long time; everyone in the family had to bow down and l…
the living, breathing, thinking

Driving through the county the other night, I thought about my friend Daniel who passed away a few weeks ago. And then I thought about my uncle who passed away a few months ago. And then I thought about my best friend …
Dull Ache

I got one of those phone calls again this past week. Another friend from my college days. Another one whom I have known for years and grown up spiritually with in so many ways has passed on from this life into eternity…
Why?

I hate it when people die. It makes me so sick to my stomach. I want to throw up. My head throbs. I feel like I'm suffocating. The world is half-spinning. I can hardly breathe sometimes. Feel so tired from emotions, I ju…
i had a dream last nite that julie came to me, and we just stood side by side talking to each other as if no time had passed. it felt so real. i woke up this morning remembering the dream and then remembering that j…
Sometimes grief just grips you so badly. Feels like a rush of wind with the weight of the world behind it. Feels like an Amtrak barreling down the track at unstoppable speed. Feels like bricks falling on my lungs. An…
Sorrow and Grief

I just can't handle Julie's death alone. Whenever I think of the memorial service and having to prepare for the "remembrance" sharing, I just want to run away. My heart still aches from the loss of her and my eyes sti…