We saw a cute, adorable, heart-melting little newborn on Sunday at church, and I was reminded of what I'll end up with when these 40 weeks of torture are over. Yes, I said the word
torture. Truly, I have to conclude that my pregnancy has been more difficult than I imagined it would be, as I leave the second trimester and enter the third. Last week, I found out that I have gestational diabetes. I also had to be tested for preeclampsia as well (there was reason to believe I might have it but after a very unpleasant test, it came out negative - thankfully!). However, I do have to deal with gestational diabetes, and the need for an even more extensive dietary restriction on my already finnicky pregnant body seems like cruel and unusual punishment. I get stressed thinking about the blood pricking and all the carb & sugar 'counting'. But I am getting to walk in the shoes of a diabetic, and that is a good thing for me to learn compassion. However, I find myself thinking over and over again that being pregnant has been the most difficult thing I have ever been through -- even more difficult than fostering, where I had previously thought the opposite!
But I actually wrote this entry because I saw that cute little newborn on Sunday and was reminded of the little newborn foster baby that we had for a short time in our care. He was the cutest little helpless little premature baby. I keep being reminded today of that Friday afternoon when he was dropped off at our house. Sam was not home from work yet and there I was all alone with this little baby. It didn't take him long to start crying and crying, and there was nothing I could do to comfort him. He felt helpless. I felt helpless. I had to shut the window because he was screaming his little head off so loudly, I thought the neighbors would think I was abusing him! Looking back, I just don't think he was ready to be in the cold world yet, for his colic stayed with him all the days we had him. Sam and I always say that it was the most difficult ten days of our entire lives, but we always say it with a smile. We always still think of him and his precious little life and are glad that we had ten days to love on him.
Newborns - so cute, so helpless and so much work! I'm looking forward to our little newborn. A new little life. Plus, an end at last to this torturous season in my life called pregnancy. :)
Comments (1)
Hey Mary Ann. Sorry to hear about the gestational diabetes. Thank God for modern day technology, though, right? If this were happening a hundred years ago, you might be a tragic statistic.
Hang in there, girl. You can do it!