July 2, 2009
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Panic about parenting
On my walk yesterday, I suddenly had a recollection of how challenging it is to have a baby in one’s care. There’s a never-ending, constant demand on your energy. There’s a huge sense of physical, emotional and spiritual responsibility. Parenting is seriously the most difficult job in the world. And then this sense of panic hit me — what did I sign up for?? Unlike fostering, there won’t be an end time when we will give the baby back! This biological baby is ours for keeps (which is AWESOME, but…). Our baby could be colicky, whiny, loud, constantly running around, full of high energy. I love my life of tranquility, quietness, routine and order. So of course, I can just imagine God wanting to throw a wrench in the system and give us a ‘non’-easy child so that we would develop character. haha. This thought made me squirm, but as I prayed, I began to realize that it’s not so bad that God would want to use our child to teach me even more about flexibility and spontaneity than I have ever learned before. Perhaps s/he’ll have the kind of charm that will draw people more in to our lives. These are good things, not bad things.
The idea of having something challenging, though, is challenging. But, then again, if it’s going to happen anyway, why not invite it? Why not have the attitude of openness? Why not have the posture of teachability? The more I thought about this, the more I began to realize that for far too long, I’ve been running away from things that are difficult and challenging –but why do I do this? The reality is that challenging things will come my way anyway, why not invite it and wait for it with expectation…knowing that through trials, God develops in me perseverance, and from perseverance a maturity and completeness so that I would not lack anything (James 1:2-4).
Parenting is full of joys — this is what everyone focuses on when you’re expecting a baby on the way. But I don’t want to be so deceived as to forget that it is full of challenges too — challenges that will result in more maturity which means more joy. So bring on the challenges, God, I’m ready (with You by my side).
Comments (3)
nice post. i like the idea you wrote about “why not invite it?” since it’s coming anyway. i can’t wait to see what your baby will be like!
So glad you’re writing again! You have a way with words that ring so very true and somehow capture exactly what I am thinking and going through. No worries, God is with you to help you parent your child!
I love it – I feel like you (and I, and lots of other people I know) are embarking on a new challenge that you’re not 100% sure we can handle. That’s the best, though. Then you are completely conscious of your need for God’s grace and seek it out and give Him the glory. Love it!