April 21, 2009
-
He gives and takes away
Because I didn’t feel the baby move all day Sunday or today, I started to get really worried by the late afternoon. I started trying to coax the little cashew, “Baby, are you there? Can you please move a little?” Admittedly, I’ve been so preoccupied with my studies all day both days, I haven’t had a chance to just sit down and pay attention, so it could’ve been just that, but when I tried to lay on the bed in the afternoon for the purpose of sensing the baby, I still didn’t get any probes or movements. As a result, I even went online to look up miscarriage symptoms. Then, finally, when I sat down to eat dinner, I prayed, “Ok, Lord, I’m worried, but I know I need to stop worrying, because you’re God, and it doesn’t matter how much I worry about this, it won’t change anything. I just need to let it go and trust you.” And as soon as I prayed those last words, I felt a little probe from the baby. The timing of the response was unmistakable. I am strongly reminded of Job’s words, “YHWH natan, v’YHWH lakach” (Job 1:21) – “The Lord gave and the Lord took away;” — and of course, the subsequent declaration, “May it be that the name of the Lord be blessed!” (my own translation of Job 1:21) It’s really by God’s prerogative that He gives us anything at all, and so it is also His prerogative to take whatever back whenever He wants. Truly, everything is a gift from His hand. I just want to meditate on that today.
P.S. When I finally finished my translation of the passage of Isaiah tonight, which is what I’ve been preoccupied with, and finally sat down and put my swollen feet up to relax, I felt the baby move a lot! I guess I need to relax more.
Comments (6)
baby was prob just taking a nap, huh? i remember feeling those same worries with the lack of movements as i wondered if i just hadn’t been paying attention.
I found your title really alarming because it’s the verse that people quote when something has been taken away from them. Ironically, it really should have the opposite effect. But I hastily clicked on your entry to find out what was wrong.
I am so relieved everything is okay. I read your title and just a few lines and my eyes filled with tears at the thought of your loss. You are so right about God being the one who gives and takes away. We tried for 4 years to have a baby and lost her to miscarriage. It was the only time in 11 years of marriage that I became pregnant – but I am confident He is also the one who opens and closes wombs. ( see Hannah’s story in 1Sam) Now after adopting three beautiful children I know why my physical womb was closed – He had another amazing plan for me – and I definately do say ” Blessed be the name of the Lord”!!!
I love reading your blog – you are so encouraging, and always give me something to think about and meditate on. Thank you for loving our Lord and Saviour!
aimee
http://www.foreverknit2gether.blogspot.com
oh good thing everything is ok!
hehe and yes you need to relax more!
yes, good thing we’ve been doing better about studying early instead of cramming. so happy our baby is ok.
if you put something cold on your tummy, it may make your baby move. but of course, baby needs some rest too. ah, relaxing is a good idea though for you too. i’m glad God is speaking to you through your baby.