August 11, 2003
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My temperament dictates that I am not a very visible leader and that I quietly exert my influence on those who are closest to me. This is true. It’s too true.
I had a fantastic time at the girls’ retreat this weekend. High school sisters are fun to be around. They have less of a “reserve” around each other than do collegers and post-collegers. I really enjoy that candidness.
I don’t have charisma though. I don’t have the kind of character that is disarming. I don’t know how to set people at ease, make them laugh or be the one to produce the “good time”. I guess that is why I left the youth ministry. I felt too inadequate to engage them. I’m not really sure how to change that.
All this is problematic in that I fall in love quite quickly. I spend some time with a set of sisters and my affections for them grow. I want to be a part of their lives and love them, but I simply don’t know how.
